LOVE is...

LOVE IS…
February 14, 2009

Love is patient…

This afternoon, I walked in the rain.
I raised my face into the sky and enjoyed the moment.
Why do we hate getting wet so much?
Perhaps we’ve forgotten how it feels
to dance in the rain.

Love is kind…

But today is Valentine’s Day.
It should have been bright, and sunny and full of cheer.
And as the rain continue to fall,
I wonder if people found Love enough
to warm their hearts.

It is not jealous…

I often wondered what it was like
to love and be loved in that special way.
Everyone’s talking about it.
And I sit and listen and hear them talk,
Having no stories of my own to share.
And I often wonder why…

It is not pompous…

Why am I not loved?
in that special way?
Why am I left behind, wondering and waiting…
Doubt and envy gnaws my heart.
I am not beautiful enough
To capture the heart of any man.

It is not inflated…

So every Valentine’s day, I watch them
People in two’s… People in love…
I watch them buy roses and give chocolates
I watch them walk with hands entwined
And I ask…

It is not rude…

Where are you?
I listen for your footsteps…
For the sound of your voice…
For I believe that the moment I lay my eyes on you,
I’ll know.
Have I not been waiting all my life?
But the silence mocks me.

It does not seek its own interests…

And then I met the Lord.
And He made me new.
And I gave Him my heart.
It was not a difficult decision to make.
No man had laid a claim.
So I gave it to Him gladly, without second thoughts…
I was happy, content…

It is not quick-tempered…

And more Valentine’s Day came.
But my heart was safe…
Secure…
For I knew that all things will come
Even love
In its own time.

It does not brood over injury…

But as the days and months and years passed
My promise became a chain
A burden… A room that boxed me in…
And more than once I wanted to break free…

It does not rejoice over wrongdoing…

At times it was a mask…
An excuse for being “loveless” for so long…
I was trapped in a lie.
Choice no longer had anything to do with it.
I was alone because nobody came.

But rejoices with the truth…

Often it was a face that turned my head
And the faces since then had not been a few
And some would break my heart a little
And some would just fade away…
And still I remain the same.

It bears all things…

The rain has stopped falling now.
It is Valentine’s Day.
And my heart is at peace.
For though I faltered
Though my love failed
More times than I can count
His love did not.

Believes all things…

I remember why I gave Him my heart in the first place.
And I remember the joy
Of what it means to truly be in love
My heart longs for that Love again

Hopes all things…

My love for Him is but a flickering flame,
But the fact that it flickers still
Is a testament in itself
Of the Love that would not let go.

Endures all things…

I wait for those footsteps still…
I wait for the heartbeat whose rhythm matches mine
And I try to grow in grace
To be ready for the love that was meant for me
before the beginning of Time.
But human love may elude me
And maybe it will not come.
Still, this I hold true...

Love never fails.

I am loved.

The Next Best Thing

The feeling that I'm destined for single-blessedness is getting stronger by the minute. Okay. So I'm only twenty-one-turning-twenty-two. And yeah, I've never had a boyfriend before of which I don't really regret at all because I haven't met anyone who would have been perfect for the role.

I think that's the problem. I haven't met anyone. I've had dozens of crushes. But nothing along the category of true love ever came my way.

I'm not saying this single-blessedness thing is a sure thing. I'm just saying that lately, I'm getting that feeling. I could be wrong. But then again, I could be right. There's a 50-50 chance of either one occuring.

I've always wanted a family. A loving one. A God-centered one. I want a husband who's both my soulmate and my bestfriend. I want kids to love and take good care of and guide well. I want to go through the joys and hassles of being a wife and a mom.

But if I can't have them, then I'll take the next best thing... a career in cardiothoracic surgery.

P.S. I told my sister that I'll help her and my younger brother send their kids to school if I don't get any.

:)

Falling

Something fell near my head this morning. I heard it drop. But because my brain is pretty much scrambled before nine a.m., I didn’t bother to look. When I finally did wake up, it was to see a one-foot plaster of paris figurine a few inches from my head.

Hmmm. I think it would have hurt if it had fallen on my head. But then again, I’ve always had a pretty thick skull so it’s anybody’s guess who among the two of us would have ended up permanently damaged.

It was a figurine my best friend got for me a long time ago. We got identical ones and painted them by ourselves. We wanted to get girl figurines but then the store ran out of stock so we got the male version instead. It was rather cute. The little guys carried half of a heart with them. The other half was with their female counterparts.

That little guy represented my soulmate… who at the moment is currently missing and is number one in the most wanted list.

But what made me smile was the realization that I painted the little guy’s long-sleeved sweater green. You see, if the myth had it right, after I counted my 50th red “pagong” (a.k.a. Volkswagen), the first guy in green to approach and talk to me is supposed to be my long lost soulmate.

I haven’t found him yet. My soulmate, I mean. The real one. The one God destined for me. And I’m getting rather impatient about it. And hopeful that I’ll find him soon.

And I don’t really put much faith in this urban myth some romantic fool had made up to pass the time away. I don’t believe that the first guy in green, whoever he is, would become my soulmate. It’s both irrational and superstitious.

But the romantic fool hidden inside me is strangely excited about finding the guy in green. And the figurine falling above my head could have been a sign. Not that I believe in signs. But still… a girl can dream, you know.

So I’m waiting still… like I always have…

PS. My soulmate, whoever he is, better have a really good excuse for being so late.