I'm Giddy Happy. I'm Pathetic.

So I saw Shepherd Boy again. And he's exactly that. A boy. And I knew this because I checked the registration sheet and discovered the year he was born in.

For the record, any member of the male species born anytime after I was born is still a boy. And I'm two years and five months older than he is.

I'm pathetic. I'm also giddy happy and it takes self-control to keep from breaking into a big, goofy smile. Yeah. I'm pathetic.

He was by himself when I saw him. He looked... well... alone. His friend wasn't around. I inwardly debated if I would go and approach him or just let him be. In the end, I did. Just for a while. I greeted him, asked if his friend was around, how the orphanage was... small stuff. Oh, and yeah. He forgot my name so I told him again.

Then I ungracefully made my exit to go to my facilitator who was at the other end of the hall.

But before that, I learned he's a Catholic.

I didn't stay with him during worship because if I did, I would have had a very, very hard time concentrating on things that mattered. I might as well have saved myself the effort because I still thought of him a lot. Darn it. I was aware... too aware... of his presence just behind me.

I had to meet my father for dinner so I went home right after. And well... I did seriously inwardly debated if I would go walk with him.

I went to the exit but he checked out one of the booth first. So to buy him a little time, I answered my father's call and walked very, very, very slowly. When he was about two meters away, I turned, said hi and walked with him.

We talked a bit. If he missed his parents. If he went to Sinulog. If he's coming to Summer camp. Small things.

I told him about me taking up medicine and he says he might study either Medicine or Physics when he gets back to Europe.

Okay. Just my luck. I meet an absolutely gorgeous young man who comes from an interesting part of the world, who's Catholic, who's volunteering in an orphanage, who plays the piano, plays soccer and might go into medicine. Oh, and he's a few years younger.

He's like... my dream guy in the flesh. Almost.

You don't meet a guy like that everyday. At least I don't.

But then again, even without the age thing, he will never be for me. Because:

1. I have a commitment.

2. He's a foreigner.

3. He'll go home in a few months.

4. He might have a girlfriend!!!

5. He's too gorgeous!!! And I'm me... plain, simple, uninteresting.

So... even without the age thing (my mother, by the way, is two years older than my father), there's no reason a guy like that would ever, ever fall for a girl like me.

Shepherd Boy

For anonymity's sake, let's call him Shepherd Boy. (*hint, hint*)

I might be seeing him tonight and I'm not exactly sure if I'll have the courage to go and say hi... and sit beside him later on. I tried to play it out in my head: the different possible scenarios, what I'm going to say, what he might say, what I might answer in reply. (Yeah, I'm crazy. And I self-talk a lot.)

But in all probability, I would just "hide". I'm that kind of person. I am painfully shy.

One of my BFFs mentioned to me that it had been a long time since she had been "foolishly giddy". My last time was around two weeks ago, when I first met Shepherd Boy. But before that, it was a long, long time.

So I hope I do get to talk with him again, even at the risk of him thinking that I like him. Which is somewhat true, if truth be told.

But what the heck! He'll be going home in a few months time, anyway.

Stardust

The block practical exam got me so depressed that I knew I needed serious cheering-up. One of my dearest friend gladly let herself be dragged along. We went to the mall, ate fries and coke float and then checked-out the latest (well... it was latest for me anyway) bookstore in town.

Heaven!

I have found a "Happy Place".

There's nothing like roaming through rows and rows of books to lift a disheartened spirit. It was such a joy! I could spend hours reading the back cover and choosing books I would have wanted to buy if I had money to spare.

I knew I couldn't leave without buying something. And so for the very first time, I bought myself a novel. At first, I thought about buying Madeleine L'engle's "A Swiftly Tilting Planet" because that was the only book in the series I haven't read yet. But then I stumbled upon "Stardust".

There was a movie adaptation of the book but I wasn't able to watch it. The book was perfect! I loved it. It had just the right elements: romance, humor and magic. It was the perfect fairy tale for me.

Needless to say, I've always been the whimsical kind and even at this age, I still love fairy tales.

I savored every word and didn't stop reading until the last page. Every cent I paid was worth it. My bout of melancholy was lifted up.

And maybe it's not related to Stardust, but strangely enough, I haven't had bouts of melancholia lately. I'm still searching for my Heart's Desire. But there's no longer that touch of despair that was getting quite familiar. My life's taking on a monotonous turn but I'm hopeful still.

PS. Changed my template again. Love the Falling Stars. Would have wanted a more cheerful background though.

The Joke's On Me

Okay. This is still along the guy-in-green-after-the-50th-red-volkswagen. Another category would be finding-my-soulmate.

I would have settled with David. I mean, since the whole thing is basically a whimsical nonsense, I might as well settle on the guy-of-my-dreams type. David fits the role almost to perfection although the only thing I know about him is that he teaches piano and soccer to orphans.

But then, it wasn't a sure thing because his t-shirt was a murky greenish-brownish color and I can't quite tell who talked to who first. But I have set my heart on him being my soulmate. However...

I breezed into the the classroom for our lecture and settled myself in my usual seat near the front. The doctor who was going to do the lecture asked me if we were section A and I replied in the affirmative. Twenty minutes into his discussion, it suddenly struck me with blinding clarity that he was wearing a GREEN polo shirt... an undeniably GREEN polo shirt. And yeah, he talked to me first.

I was horrified. And at the same time, the irony of it didn't escape me.

How could I have not noticed??? But the thing is, I really didn't. The fact that he was in green, for some reason, did not register in my head. Was I too confident in having found David?

After going to great lengths in avoiding every single green-shirted guy, this is what happens. The joke's on me.

Okay. So the fact that the guy is a cardiothoracic surgeon didn't escape my notice, especially since that's the field I want to go into. It also didn't escape my notice that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring and that he was in his thirties.

But... he wasn't my dream guy. Didn't even come close. Besides, he could have been married and had kids for all I know.

My friend and I laughed our heads off afterwards. The whole thing was rather comical.

So that's it. But I'm still stubbornly sticking to wishful hopes of half-European kids with curly brown hair.

Soulmate Found??

I know. I know. I know.

I know it's just an urban legend... a myth for romantic fools. I know it's not real. I know. Boy, do I know it.

But... can I just make believe it's real? Can I just pretend... even for just a little while... that it's true?

My soulmate. The guy in green. I think I found him.

His name is David. He's German and he's volunteering in an orphanage for a year. He plays soccer. He plays the piano. Oh, and yeah. He's incredibly handsome. And that's just about it. That's all I know. I didn't get to know him very well because time was short.

That's it. That's all.

For that little while, I was strangely happy and very much distracted. I haven't felt like that for a long while. And it's a nice feeling. So whatever may happen, at least I had that.

Dare I wish for more? Not really. Only that somehow, we'd at the very least be friends.

Bad Weather

There’s something about cold weather that brings about melancholia. I’m glad I live in the tropics. I might end up suicidal if I had to go through winter seasons. Just kidding.

It’s actually a number of things that’s bringing about this sense of despondency right now. But I’d rather blame the weather. It makes things less complicated.

The wind is no longer as freezing as it was the past few days. Which is a shame because, after two days of enduring the cold, I finally brought a bright pink jacket to keep me warm… only to find that it’s no longer that necessary. Oh, well.

Trial

The court trial was yesterday. I will not elaborate. It's an ugly story. But the thing is, that particular trial has life-altering consequences for me. And I'm not even being dramatic.

When I say life-altering, I mean life-altering. I mean I might have to stop studying and support my younger sister through her last year of nursing. I mean my family could be ruined and our name shamed. I mean my father could be imprisoned.

But I don't think the possibilities have hit me yet because I'm looking at it with a strange detachment. And I'm still hopeful nothing would change at all.

The Next Best Thing

The feeling that I'm destined for single-blessedness is getting stronger by the minute. Okay. So I'm only twenty-one-turning-twenty-two. And yeah, I've never had a boyfriend before of which I don't really regret at all because I haven't met anyone who would have been perfect for the role.

I think that's the problem. I haven't met anyone. I've had dozens of crushes. But nothing along the category of true love ever came my way.

I'm not saying this single-blessedness thing is a sure thing. I'm just saying that lately, I'm getting that feeling. I could be wrong. But then again, I could be right. There's a 50-50 chance of either one occuring.

I've always wanted a family. A loving one. A God-centered one. I want a husband who's both my soulmate and my bestfriend. I want kids to love and take good care of and guide well. I want to go through the joys and hassles of being a wife and a mom.

But if I can't have them, then I'll take the next best thing... a career in cardiothoracic surgery.

P.S. I told my sister that I'll help her and my younger brother send their kids to school if I don't get any.

:)

The Other One

A few days back, my mother called and for some reason, the conversation ended up with her asking me about my lovelife. She asked me about that crush I had been telling her about. I told her of course that I was no longer interested. This is the honest-to-goodness truth. But I refrained from mentioning why. It would complicate matters and my ego is too fragile as it is.

And then for some reason, she asked me about Jacob. Jacob? Where did she get that name?
My mind went through the possibilities and I racked my brain for any incriminating evidence I could have left back at home.

And then I remembered all the Jacob Black art and pics I had downloaded from the internet.
Oh. That Jacob.

So I told my mother that Jacob was a fictional character from a book. She accepted my explanation and told me it isn’t really advisable to be too hooked on a book character. I could understand her concerns. Hehe.

But of course, there was the other one. I haven’t told her that.

New Moon News

My friend was crying her eyes out after a few chapters of New Moon. She felt Bella’s pain when Edward left.

I’ve finished reading all four books and so in one way or another, I have gotten over all of them… Bella, Edward, the Cullens, and of course, my Jacob. I remember having that heavy feeling as I read the same chapters she is reading now. But then, it was around that time that Jacob came into the picture. And when Jacob came, he brought back sunshine into Bella’s life and to a certain extent, mine.

Like every other girl, I started out as an Edward hardcore fan. Until Jacob came, of course. After that, the only thing that kept me going through chapter after chapter was Jacob. Although the whole four volumes revolved around Bella and Edward, I was only truly interested in what happened to Jacob. I was moderately devastated when Edward came back. I felt Jacob’s pain deeply. And at times, it was hard to continue reading on knowing there was more pain for him. In fact, I refrained from reading Breaking Dawn for quite some time because there was only heartache for Jacob in the first few chapters. And that was hard to read for me as well.

But then, of course, Jacob had his happy ending and everything was set to rights. And I’m happy with how it all turned out. I’m happy for Jacob and I can now have my mind set at rest. However, since they didn’t kick Taylor out of the Twilight movie sequel, my mind is no longer at rest again. As a true Jacob fan, I want him portrayed to perfection. In other words, I want Steven Strait’s face in the big screen. Even Michael Copon would do. But that wasn’t meant to be. I seriously doubt how New Moon will turn out.

In my own humble opinion, the only way the movie would work is if they develop Jacob’s character. If they can create chemistry between Jacob and Bella, it would spice things up. If they don’t, the movie would be completely flat because Edward would only be showing up at the end and the beginning. New Moon is basically about Jacob.

And I seriously doubt Taylor’s abilities. I doubt if he and Kirsten would be able to create that right balance of chemistry which would keep fans at their seat and wait to see what would happen next. I seriously doubt it.

And the truth is, I am indignant and angry. Because I love Jacob so much and I want the people to see him in a different light. There are too many Edward fans as it is.

Worldly Thoughts

Once upon a time, I was a simple, moderately uncomplicated sort of person. I was also deeply involved in ministry work in our charismatic community. I've always wanted to become a doctor and that dream didn't change. But back then, my motives were simple and my goals were noble.

I also dreamed of becoming a fulltime servant. But somewhere within the last twelve months, the dream died.

When I got into med school, I caught a glimpse of another world... another level of society. And all of a sudden, I found myself wanting things I never really wanted before. Clothes, shoes, bags, books, a car (specifically a red VW).

It's not that I've become worldly. That's what I tell myself. And I could be right. I simply want to enjoy the good things in this life.

I haven't changed much at all. I have a wardrobe that would make a fashionista weep in despair. I'm still not into make-up. I still don't drink and smoke (and I never will.)

But I dream of one day being able to buy all those things I can only look at from afar. I dream of becoming beautiful and elegant and rich someday. And it's bugging my conscience. I've been the unworldly girl for so long that it might take a while getting used to.

I guess I'm afraid that wanting these good things would somehow corrupt me and that I'd have a skewed perspective of life and enjoy this world so much I'll forget that there's a next one.

Still... I do want to get rich.

Falling

Something fell near my head this morning. I heard it drop. But because my brain is pretty much scrambled before nine a.m., I didn’t bother to look. When I finally did wake up, it was to see a one-foot plaster of paris figurine a few inches from my head.

Hmmm. I think it would have hurt if it had fallen on my head. But then again, I’ve always had a pretty thick skull so it’s anybody’s guess who among the two of us would have ended up permanently damaged.

It was a figurine my best friend got for me a long time ago. We got identical ones and painted them by ourselves. We wanted to get girl figurines but then the store ran out of stock so we got the male version instead. It was rather cute. The little guys carried half of a heart with them. The other half was with their female counterparts.

That little guy represented my soulmate… who at the moment is currently missing and is number one in the most wanted list.

But what made me smile was the realization that I painted the little guy’s long-sleeved sweater green. You see, if the myth had it right, after I counted my 50th red “pagong” (a.k.a. Volkswagen), the first guy in green to approach and talk to me is supposed to be my long lost soulmate.

I haven’t found him yet. My soulmate, I mean. The real one. The one God destined for me. And I’m getting rather impatient about it. And hopeful that I’ll find him soon.

And I don’t really put much faith in this urban myth some romantic fool had made up to pass the time away. I don’t believe that the first guy in green, whoever he is, would become my soulmate. It’s both irrational and superstitious.

But the romantic fool hidden inside me is strangely excited about finding the guy in green. And the figurine falling above my head could have been a sign. Not that I believe in signs. But still… a girl can dream, you know.

So I’m waiting still… like I always have…

PS. My soulmate, whoever he is, better have a really good excuse for being so late.

Silent Treatment

My sister is still giving me the silent treatment. Hmmm... I estimated wrong. I thought this would blow over by dinnertime.

Which is really annoying because the only reason I got mad and called her "ingrata" was because of all those "bad words" she threw at me. The story goes like this.

She was printing some stuff and asked me to take over because she needed to go downstairs. Absent-minded as I was, I graciously did as she told (like I always do) and then shoved a couple of bondpapers into the printer which caused all the bondpaper to get jammed inside. She got really mad and thus started saying some really nasty stuff. She told me that she warned me about it but that I didn't listen blah, blah, blah...

I stayed cool. I kept my temper.

But then she started saying "bad words" and that got my temper boiling.

Here I was, just trying to help. And I did got the paper unjammed after a few minutes. But she didn't stop yapping and that finally got me over the edge and I shouted at her and called her "ingrata". (ungrateful)

I cooled down after a short while, like I always do. And I waited for her to make the first move because she started it. However, she was still giving me the silent treatment so I made the first move instead and asked her if she was hungry so we could have dinner. Nada from her. So I had dinner alone.

Oh, and by the way. She spilled some Hair Treatment Cream on my bed. It was probably by accident.

But... grrrrr...

I'm getting mad. She has the nerve to get mad when she was the one who started saying bad things in the first place.

And now, I think I'm getting mad again. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Random Ramblings

It's almost seven. I spent the whole day basically doing nothing, and now... I'm wasting whatever time I have left by doing... nothing.

I need to clear the cobwebs in my head again. It may help me to finally start cramming for tomorrow's exam.

So here are the threads of thought flying in and out of my head.

1. I had a fight with my sister. Again. But the difference this time is that I wasn't able to keep my temper. I raised my voice and called her an "ingrata". So now we're not talking to each other. She started it.

2. Usually, when angry, I keep my mouth shut and simmer... or boil... inside. I don't like to simmer. I don't like being always so nice. So this time, I shouted. And I don't feel too good about myself but at least I wasn't simmering. But knowing the usual pattern of our tiffs, I bet we'll be talking to each other in two hours time.

3. I actually googled the Adonis from Mount Olympus, a guy I'm calling Edward for anonymity's sake. Shame on me.

4. A guy in green was in front of our pew at mass this afternoon. Well actually, his shirt wasn't really that green. It was a striped yellow and bluish-greyish-green. But I wasn't taking any chances. So right after the singing of the "Our Father", I ungracefully made my exit and waited until after the peace-be-with-you part ended. I really am getting paranoid or something.

5. And my back is starting to ache so I guess it's about time to hit the books. During the last module quiz, I was almost sure I was going to get it perfect. Well... I barely passed. Needless to say, I was immensely frustrated.

6. Jake wore grey last Saturday. I was fervently hoping he'd wear green. So I guess I'll wait for next Saturday and every Saturday thereafter until he wears green and talks to me. Till then, I have to avoid every green-shirted guy... unless he happens to look like Edward. But I'm still waiting for Jake. He gave me an extra big wave. Not that it means something. But something is better than nothing. Hmmm... I wonder if he'll ever realize that it's me he's looking for. Probably not and I'd probably grow tired of him in a few weeks time. But till then, I can always wish.

7. I look like a maid beside Edward. Oh, geez.

8. I want a Red Beetle. I really want a car. And I don't even know how to drive. I wonder if I can get father to buy me a car. But with our current state of affairs, I don't think so. Besides, med school is super expensive and draining our financial resources already. But who knows?

9. I really want a Red Beetle. *sigh*

50th Red Pagong

Today, January 10, 2009, will forever stand out in the chronicle of my life as the day I counted my 50th red Pagong. (Note: Pagong is the Tagalog word for turtle. Here in my place, we call a Volkswagen a Pagong because of its shape.)

I first heard about counting red pagongs from my friend. According to the… er… legend… in order to find your soulmate, you have to count 50 red pagongs. And after the 50th pagong, the first person (of the opposite sex) wearing a green shirt to approach and talk to you is your soulmate.

I don’t put much stock in this particular tale. I’m too rational a human being.

But counting pagongs had been one of the joys in my life. Red pagongs are pretty rare and spotting one in the road, amidst the grime and the traffic, is like a bright ray of sunshine on a rainy day. I found an unexpected pleasure in finding pagongs at unexpected places. It made me smile and clap my hands, like a child handed a present.

So this morning, I finally counted my 50th. The truth is, I think I finished long before. My memory has never been that reliable and I was frequently counting back.

My heart jumped a beat when I saw the shiny red Beetle parked along a road. My 50th! Now all I had to do was wait for my soulmate. Not exactly an easy thing to do.

I’ve been acting pretty paranoid. I’m avoiding almost everyone wearing green in fear that they would talk to me and ruin everything. As much as I knew how silly and incredibly childish it all was, I was enough of a romantic fool to think it couldn’t hurt to pretend that the guy in green is my soulmate.

Like I always say, a girl can dream.


~January 10, 2009

Being Too Handsome Should be Punishable by Law

Because I’m searching for my soulmate, I’m currently avoiding every member of the male specimen wearing a green shirt. Well, that’s not exactly accurate. The truth is, I’m avoiding every member of the male specimen wearing green who happens to fall way below my… umm… standards.

(PS. I know I’m being mean and discriminating, but what the heck! A girl has every right to make her dream guy as perfect as possible.)

Anyway, my soulmate’s supposed to be wearing a green shirt. Why a green shirt? That is the subject of another blog entry.

So the reason my sister and I avoided eating one particular carenderia was because there was this guy wearing green. And since I’m not taking any chances at all, we decided to eat somewhere else.

On our way home, we passed by the same carenderia. And who else should be there but the most gorgeous young man I have ever seen. And I’m not even exaggerating. Oh, and yeah. He was wearing green.

I think it’s one of those cosmic jokes the universe plays on unsuspecting people every now and then.

The thing is, I know this guy. I see him almost every day because we happen to go to the same school and because he happens to be only a year ahead of me in the same course. And I’ve come to the same conclusion, that he was the most handsome person I have ever seen, a long time ago. He could have played Edward Cullen to perfection.

However, I’ve never really had a crush on him. I’ve always preferred a Jacob Black over an Edward Cullen. And I have a Jacob Black in school already.

STILL… that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the ability to take my breath away. And that’s what happened when I passed by that carenderia and saw him standing oh so casually in his green jersey with a towel slung around his shoulders.

Seriously. I personally think it’s a crime to be that handsome. People like him should wear masks so as not to dazzle ordinary mortals like yours truly.

But that’s not where the story ends.

I was so dazzled that when I judged that we were a safe distance away, I began talking about him to my younger sister. If I can recall it right, I began babbling about how unfortunate it was that we hadn’t eaten in that carenderia after all and that on second thought, the guy didn’t really know me since we weren’t friends so there’s no way he’d even say hi to me. Then I went on to say it really was a good thing we hadn’t eaten there because I saw a classmate having dinner there with a girl and I didn’t quite like that classmate because he thinks he’s so handsome and that most of the members of the female population were enamored by his good looks… blah, blah, blah…

And when my sister looked over her shoulder, who should be walking not more than 2 meters behind us but the Adonis himself. I didn’t even bother looking behind me. We were so flustered that we quickened our pace and then crossed to the opposite side of the street. I couldn’t decide if I should go hide in the nearest store or make a beeline for home.

How long had he and his friend been walking behind us??? Did he hear us talking or was he too engrossed in his conversation that he didn’t hear his name being mentioned more than once??? And the big question, did he recognize me???

For once in my life, I sincerely hope that I really was as invisible in school as my overly dramatic mind imagined. I hope that my face was really that forgettable that though we’ve once been on the same elevator and though we frequently pass each other by in the library, he wouldn’t recognize me at all.

I may never know if he heard our conversation… or if he even recognized me. Frankly, I’m not that eager to know.

Moral lesson: Don’t talk about boys in public. And handsome men should be fined, if not imprisoned, for being so dazzling.

Semi-Strangers

Just a while ago, on my way to Jollibee for dinner, I met a guy. Let's call him JC. Hmmm... I guess "met" is not the right term for this. We were just two semi-strangers who happened to pass by each other as we went our own separate ways.

He did look up at me though. But I seriously doubt if he even recognized me. It was already dark, anyhow. And besides, how do you recognize somebody you've never known?

Because the fact is, although (a) once upon a time when he was still a medical student, I (then a student nurse) assisted him in a minor operation, (b) it was through me (unknown to him) who made it possible for him to get to know my beauty queen friend, (c) we're friends in Friendster and (d) we chatted twice in YM, it doesn't change the fact that I'm more or less a complete stranger.

Well... it was a pretty mild crush and I got over it soon enough. But then I guess I'll never really forget him because he was the guy I had crush on at the time I was seriously considering a religious vocation. So he is actually one of the reasons, albeit an incredibly minor one, why I am now taking up medicine and chasing my dreams instead.

His part in my life is over. So why waste time writing about him? Because although I'm pretty sure he will forever be under the category of "old crushes", my heart did jump when I saw him. I think it was mostly due to surprise on my part. But my heart has not been doing any jumping for anybody lately so I thought it was worth writing a little about.

PS:
So, okay. I did check his Friendster afterwards and felt just a little bit relieved at the fact that he's still single. Not that I'm interested.

Marie's Birthday Part 1

My sister will be celebrating her birthday in approximately 7 hours. She's turning 19.

I love birthdays. Mine, most especially. Almost more, but not quite, than Christmas. I think it's because your birthday is YOUR DAY. YOURS. And on that day, people are extra nice to you and make it as special as possible.

And you do your best to make your day extra-extra special. So it sucks when the 12 hours of your day is spent within the four walls of your classroom. And there's still around 7 hours of sleeping. Which means you get 5 hours to make the day magical.

And it doesn't help when most of your family is far away and all you've got are friends who consider your birthday as the one day in the year that you get to treat them to dinner.

That's more or less what happened last year, on my sister's birthday. She wasn't happy at all. And if it happens again tomorrow, well...

So though my wallet's skinny, I'll try at the very least to make her a bit happy on her special day. I already bought two tiny cakes and I think I'll go out in a few minutes and buy some candles to go with the tiny cake. And if I get a little extra left, I just might be able to buy trinkets. My sister loves useless trinkets and stickers and stuff like that.

Actually, she's not that hard to please at all. It's just that few people go out of their way to please her.

Including me, if truth be told.

New Look

I love the new look of this blog. It's perfect!

Can you see that I'm just wasting my time? I should be studying now. But well, that's me. I need superhuman effort to refrain from procrastination.

First Day Reflections

1. Everything's strangely the same. The school buildings are the same. My classmates are the same. Okay, it was a different PBL Tutorial session but the atmosphere was more or less the same. Nobody looks remotely different. Except maybe Lise who had gotten bangs over December and then decided she didn't like them.

2. I was right. My "crush" was nothing more than a whimsical fancy of the moment. I think I imagined the whole thing. At the very least, it didn't survive the two-week Christmas break. So I'm back to scratch. I don't mind very much, although I know later on the monotony of it will make me blue and that would be the stimulus necessary to start for another man-hunt. However, the pickings are very slim. After 10 months, all the handsome faces have lost their ability to attract.

3. And speaking of back-to-scratch, that's what's going to happen to our research. The problem with our group is that our group leader is too nice so he let's us have a Christmas break while he does the whole thing himself. We might have gotten away with it although I do have qualms regarding the validity and reliability of the results. However, our research adviser got wind of what we did. She told us she was "almost at the point of being angry with us". Sounds like a good thing, doesn't it? It means, she's not quite in the anger stage yet. But she was very firm and told us we had to do everything again. Oh, and did I mention that we now have an extremely limited time left? There's no longer any room for any mistake.

4. Rumors from the other school. It seems as if they (my fellow first year medical students) did not have a Christmas break at all because they were studying for their unit exam. When I think of the hours I spent watching 45 episodes of bleach, Season 4 of House and Grey's Anatomy, I'm still not sure if I should pity them or myself.

5. Lyss and I are the only first year medical students left. We're in the PDR room studying. Or at least she's studying. I'm blogging. It's kind of like a loser thing to do. Studying in school during independent study time, I mean. The cool thing to do is to study at coffee shops or somewhere equally elegant and sophisticated. Oh, well. I am serious about turning over a new leaf and that includes studying during Independent Study Time.

6. I still have free access to the wifi here at school. Yipee!!!

New Blog Name

I changed the name of my blog. It's new name, plus my URL kind of gives away my identity. But then, since I'm 90% confident that the people who know me... who could possibly piece together the clues... could not possibly stumble upon this blog, my secrets are safe.

Besides, I do believe I am my only reader.

Haha.

One day, when I'm old and wrinkled, I'll read all the old entries and nod sagely at my foolishness and smile at the things that made me laugh and cry.

And I'll show this blog to my children and grandchildren and maybe, just maybe, they would get something out of my adventures/misadventures and my normal (a.k.a. boring) day-to-day life.

Extra Resolutions

These are the resolutions I failed to write about.

1. Be organized. Seriously.

2. Keep track of my money. Budget.

3. Buy myself new clothes every once in a while. I need them. I need to start learning how to look good.

4. Learn how to put on light make-up?

5. STUDY EVERY NIGHT!!! NO SLEEPING BEFORE 12 MIDNIGHT!! My study habits suck. I seriously need to work on this

6. No crushing on just anybody. Wait for true love. (Yeah... right.)

7. Get the Top 2 spot in class. (I'm realistic enough to realize I cannot catch up to the Top 1)

8. Finish my novel.

9. Hmmm.... I'm running out of resolutions.

That's it for now.

.xoxo.

Back to the Big City

Tomorrow morning, I'm going back to the Big City. My vacation days are over. I'm pretty miserable, mostly because I had been banking on two more idle days here at home. But because of the bad weather and the passenger season (I hate passenger season) and the fact that most of the ships are fully-booked, I had to get the one available at the moment.

The worst thing about this is that we'll be on a fast craft. It would probably be a good 3 hours ride. I hate fast crafts. My father is a seaman but none of us, his children, got the anti-sea sickness gene. So this means I better not eat a heavy breakfast so I wouldn't have a lot of stuff to puke out.

I don't want to go back. At least not yet. Life in the City is so fast-paced. Everything seems to move at fast forward.

I'm homesick already.

Looking Back

Yesterday was the first day of the year. So obviously, today is the second. However, as much as I wanted to write some "First Day of the New Year" reflections or something like that, I was prevented from doing so by menstrual cramps. I spent most of yesterday bent in pain and puking out my lunch and dessert.

2008 has been a pretty good year. Here are the things I wouldn't want to forget about 2008.

-the last few months of nursing student life

-16-hour straight shift and being the DR jinx

-pinning ceremony (I lost my pin later on)

-graduating cum laude

-review sessions: this includes coming in and sleeping during lectures and waking up during recess, skipping classes, Dr. Dy, skipping Frankie's lecture to watch a totally no-brainer movie, lunch at Bahay ni Kuya/Lola, topping the pre-board

-Board Exam!!!

-snagging the Top 9 spot

-MED SCHOOL!!!

-two new bestfriends and a whole lot of new friends

-Intramurals: Choir practice and choir competition, becoming an athlete for the first time in my life and getting a silver medal for the track & field, also making a fool out of myself during table tennis competion (I have never played table tennis my whole life before this)

-my first all-night party. I didn't drink a single drop of alcohol and I cried at some point during the party because I felt really miserable

-wall climbing for the first time

-attending a beach party composed of mostly third year students and actually having fun

-Medlympics! and Track & Field again...

-Marco Polo moments, McDo moments, KFC moments (I am choke!), Bo Moments...

-Simala and attending a procession (around 5km) in high heels

-Another choir competition (for Christmas); one of the most embarrassing moments of my life; I survived

-Christmas and New Year with my family

And so much more... I am excited for 2009.